Late Night Thinking

I'm sitting here late this evening listening to tunes and thinking about life. Now being tired, my words as well as my thoughts may make little sense to the reader but such is the territory. I am trying to reflect on the past several months and at the same time look a head to the future. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing, if I am on the right path. What can I say? I question. It is my nature. It's how I figure the world out, if only. I'm curious. I have my sentimental and mournful moments where I grow concerned about finding my place in this world. It is in these moments that my esteem grows weary and my skin thin. Can I live up to the words and stories of those around me? Can I paint with the same broad stroke as was applied in my creation? By what shackle do I hold myself to this earth?

Look, aside from the allegorical explainations there is a simple way to describe what I think and feel. I worry about the choices I make. I strive to do the right things, always. I know what I want but I am unsure if it is realistic or even attainable. Logic says it is but I have a tendency to get in my own way. I suppose when the sun sets and I settle in for the night the lingering thought that prevails is when will I receive my calling? When will I hear the echoes of the thoughts and feel the tug upon my heart directing me in my endeavors? When will I find my passion? Perhaps I have but am unable to see it. The gravity of it all weighs heavy upon my mind. I figure it's normal and I am not overwhelmed by it all.

Thinking hard on it, I believe I can explain my thoughts one better.

I want a family. I want a piece of ground to plow and a hand to hold, a child to teach and a dog to pet. I want to be connected. I want to be the rock that the foundation of a home is built upon, to be a provider. I want to love what I do and feel as if I can make a difference. I want to help and share. I want to fill the world with stories of life, love, and laughter. Most of all I want my own piece of contentment.

Life my friends is just a brief page in a very large book. I just hope mine is worth reading.