So I've been in a piss poor funk for the last two weeks and I just can't seem to shake it. I'm developing an attitude, you know the kind where I tell you to fuck off. Yep, that kind. I can't seem to feel better and my sleep pattern has been all over the fucking place. I've grown tired of discussing my ideas, my plans, or whatever is on my mind. Every time I turn around I'm being ridiculed for something I say.
I've decided to push back. I will refrain from saying anything in return my hopes are that they too become quiet otherwise I will leave their life in a furious bang! I'm grumpy and angry and completely disconnected to life right now and the last thing I need is someone trying to make a joke about my life. Hey, here's a clue. I know I suck. I know that I'm disenchanted with the mundane life I've made for myself. I know that I'm lost here. I know I'm not content and that I should just shut the fuck up and deal with it. I know my dreams are stupid and selfish because they don't include everyone. I know these things so no one needs to to tell me, however they choose to do it. My advice for them, piss off! I fucking get it. Thanks. If it didn't go against everything I fucking believe I would eat some metal forget about all of this, but that's not me. Instead, I endure albeit while whining and crying. Truth is I'm unhappy with my current situation and there is no one to blame, no one to help, no one that can do anything but me. I always pull myself out of these funks...sometimes it just takes time.
That almost made me feel better...almost. My next post will be less hostile. I promise.
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