Dad's birthday

So today is my dad's 50th birthday. It's really hard for me to think about. Dad's 50. He's really reached a milestone. You see he has managed to out live both his father and older brother. I suppose his grit and stubbornness keeps him going. It's hard for me to see my dad the way he is today. His hair is growing lighter, his belly gets bigger and he moves less and less. A little back story is required I think. Ok, so to be clear, my father has always been larger than life, had a fiery temper, a smooth and flawless way with the ladies, dark hair and a young look. Always a man of few yet bone cutting words, he has become soft and hard hearing. I have witnessed the transformation of my dad and I have mixed feelings. I can honestly say that I am happy that my dad is more laid back. Dad's learned at lot over the years and unfortunately I was his guinea pig. So I should explain.

My dad is one hell of an example for me. Crazy as this sounds, he has taught me a lot. You see I grew up with a father who was hard, brutal, and sometimes violent. He was also steadfast and a provider. Never affectionate and sometimes callas, he was a hard man to please. Hard work and sacrifice, that was dad's mantra for me. Because of the things I went through with my father it has created this need to overcome, to be better than he was. Please don't take this post as hate filled or regretful or even negative. You see I love my dad, very much but he learned how to become the person he is by the mistakes he made with me. Those are actually his own words. My siblings never really suffered his wrath, though my sister may disagree. The point is, I am proud to call him Dad. It's taken along time to get to this point. So many wounds had to be mended, so many words had to be taken back, and so many things had to be forgiven. All in all, he turned out to be a good dad...it just took a few years to get there!

So what do I take away from my dad? This my friends is easy. You see I want to be the things my dad wasn't and more. Dad once told me that when I become a father I better never treat my children the way he treated me or there would be hell to pay. That is one thing my father should never worry about. When I become a father I be there and be affectionate. I will love, laugh, play, sing, cry, and be understanding. I will be patient, concerned, caring, supportive, and involved. I want to write more but I can't at this moment. I need to catch my breath.

We are all driven by events in our lives to do great thing no matter how big or small. I can't say what great things will come from my life, but given the chance or the blessing, I will be the best dad that I can be. That is the best gift I could give my father for his birthday.

One last thought. Sometimes we are our parents redemption.