My So Called Life?

A thought crosses my mind. People I know in general have lives just as mundane as my own. You see, I recently was contacted by someone I haven't talked to in 12 years. They were interested in what I've done and where I've been. So after a few brief emails it occurred to me that perhaps the fact that I've lived out of state and travel to the 49th state that maybe just maybe my life has not been as boring as I perceive it to be. I suppose that I figured by now I would have traveled the world. Maybe I still think I can and perhaps that's why I'm so reluctant to set down roots somewhere. You could say I'm drifting...sort of. I've considered volunteering with some non-religious organization for the chance to both travel and to do something worth doing. If I had more money I would fly to the UK and volunteer at the Hungate site in York.

Sadly, I surround myself with both friends and family yet somehow, at the end of the day I feel alone. Why is that? Is it because I'm secretly terribly unhappy? Is it because I have an uncanny way of feeling alienated even by those closest to me? Is it because I feel unable to express myself and discuss the things that keep me up at night? Is it because I'm an ass, severely lazy, and unmotivated? Perhaps it's all of the above?

I wish I was more interesting and some days I wish I could be an asshole and tell the world to fuck off because I'm working on it. I wish the anxiety I have and get would just go away.
At the end of the day I hide in my little roost rotating between sleeping, reading, and movie watching. Exciting my ass. Merry mundane.